12th
Final Cyber Body: Virgin/Whore Dualism
Virgin/Whore or Good Girl/Bad Girl: First of all let me explain what this whole dualism term is, a dualism is the view that the world consists of or is explicable as two fundamental entities, such as Virgin/Whore or Good Girl/Bad Girl. The broader dualism as it is understood more generally is that good girls do not talk about sex and bad girls do talk about sex. Women are put in one of the two categories. A woman is either a “good girl/virgin” or “bad girl/whore.” The Virgin is the woman who is seen as pure in our society, it is someone who is not sexually active and who does not talk about sex. It is someone who does not experience pleasure. The Whore is the woman who is seen as the bad girl, it is someone who enjoys sex and makes sure she is also satisfied. This dualism is a common dilemma that women confront. I am of Mexican decent and grew up in with a family that is strictly Catholic and never talks about sex period. I grew up in a household in were one cannot even say VAGINA. I feel that because I grew up in a home in were even the word sex was so bad you could not even say it, it just took a lot away from me. It always felt that I had to be in the “good girl/virgin” category. I remember my mother telling my sister and me “just remember if you have sex before marriage nobody is going to want to marry you!” Although yes this kind of thinking is too back in the days for many, my mother made sure that this kind of thinking would be engrained in us. I remember when I started my first year in school in this Country. I was introduced to what a Sex Ed Class was. I remember we all had to ask a question out loud, every single student had to ask something. I do not remember what particular question I asked, but I sure as hell remember that my sentence had the word “Vagina” in it and instead of saying it I said something else, the teacher immediately noticed and in front of the whole class she said, “Come on now you can do this, it is “V-A-G-I-N-A!” now say “P-E-N-I-S!” ok, now say “S-E-X!” I was humiliated, not because I heard those particular words but because I could not believe that I was so ignorant that I could not even say them. I feel that culture plays a huge role in how people view the world. In my culture or I should say in my family sex is completely prohibited before marriage and women well we aren’t ever suppose to talk about sex. I just think that this is a good example of how this dualism has maintained itself over time. Even some of our cultures hold this idea very closely. Good girls are not suppose to be having sex before marriage and bad girls are those who nobody wants to marry, and who is to blame? Who knows? I am sure that the reason why my sister and me could never talk about sex is because the way we grew up, and I am sure that my mother is the same way because of the way she grew up. However, I think that the more women speak up and get comfortable with this whole topic the easier it will be to eliminate this dualism and hopefully liberate our bodies. Although this might be a small example of why some people can be less comfortable with their bodies than others, it leads to this whole binary relationship that limits and oppresses women. It oppresses women in the mere sex act itself. It oppresses women in such that women cannot seem to know their own bodies when it comes to pleasure or cannot reach an orgasm, it oppresses women in such that women cannot even talk about sex without feeling “dirty” or feeling like they will be placed in the “bad girl/whore” category.
